Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love by Robert Karen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I really want to say something that inspires everyone that reads this review go out and buy the book. Particularly parents. But since it is a little academic so if I write a rave review then you might see me as kind of dull and boring. However, I have read a slew of parenting books and this book may have had the most impact on how I parent…more specifically how I understand myself as a parent and caregiver and thus modifying how I parent. Like I said, it does lean a bit on the academic side of therapeutic books…so if you like page turners then you may want to read this in piece meal amongst your thrillers.
The book gives a comprehensive history on the research of attachment. All that Eriksonian stuff you learned in Psych 101 in detail. Fascinating really. The latter chapters in the book adapt attachment research to how we relate to others (children, spouses, lovers) as adults including chapters entitled The Residue of Our Parents, Attachment in Adulthood and Repetition and Change: Working Through Insecure Attachment. The content has impacted the lens through which I implement discipline and connection with my children and spouse. It has also put me at ease with the ambivalent and anxious feelings I experience as a parent. I wish I had read this book before my children were born, but it is never too late. The information is pertinent to anyone who is a parent, a child or who has any meaningful relationships…guess that includes anyone human.
Dr. Karen put some fine diligent research into this book!
Have you read a good parenting book lately?
