The Strength of Inter-dependency

by , under attachment, EFT, Hold Me Tight, love, marriage, relationships

This is a guest post from my respected colleague Robin Cohen.  Robin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who is certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples.  She is in private practice in Herndon, Virginia.  Robin completed an intense post-Master’s program in Marriage and Family Therapy at Virginia Tech in 1994.  She subsequently became an adjunct faculty member at Virginia Tech where she supervised graduate students in the university clinic.   Robin was selected as a “Top Therapist” by Washingtonian Magazine in 2009 and 2012.  Robin will be co-facilitating the Hold Me Tight Workshop on November 7th and 8th in McLean.  

The Strength of Inter-dependency

In a culture that promotes independence, self-sufficiency, and rugged individualism, the notion of inter-dependency in love relationships might be difficult to accept.  So often I hear a partner say, “I have never relied on anyone, only myself.”  Yet, the concept of depending on one’s partner to be there especially at critical times is paramount to a healthy relationship and a secure attachment.

Sue Johnson says, “The more secure the attachment, the stronger the inter-dependency, the more independent partners are likely to be”.  Having a partner you can depend on is like being a ship with a secure dock. If I know that my partner will provide a safe secure dock to anchor my ship, it allows me to rest when I’m weary, re-charge, and explore the world.  Whether that exploration means going back to school, starting a business, running for mayor, or becoming PTA president, feeling securely anchored at home makes the journey easier.

by Robin Cohen, LCSW