conversations to have with your spouse

For Lovers: Subtle Differences in Conversation Make a Big Difference in Connection

I was working with a couple the other day who have been married a long time.  Some big differences had grown in their relationship and they are exploring whether continuing their relationship will be right for both of them.  

Within a short time it became clear that deep in their hearts they both want the marriage to work.  But they often get caught in some dynamics that make them both feel lonely.  It is also clear that the differences they have will not go away and they wonder if this marriage will allow them to live wholeheartedly.  

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Attachment in Adulthood

In a recent post, I wrote about the attachment journey that young parents naturally embark on as they have children. With parenthood, attachment becomes a focal point. But attachment needs aren’t just for babies! It’s important for all adults – married people, single people, adult siblings, adult children or parents of adult children – to

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The Elements of Attachment

Parents of young children are often preoccupied with how best to establish strong bonds with their little ones. We long for meaningful interactions. We hope that our children will both initiate and positively receive these interactions, which we also hope will be a source of strength for both parties. The mental health world uses the

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Why do you have sex?

There was a fascinating article in the Wall Street Journal recently about what motivates couples to have sex and how the motivation impacts their relationship.  The article explains that “new research from the University of Toronto shows that the reasons why partners have sex in the first place also significantly affect marital satisfaction. And a

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What is love, anyway?

The other day I read a sad, sad description of love in this article (which ironically, is about my beloved city of Chicago…to me the cold is just a testament to it’s awesomeness…“the largest American city that deals with negative-twenty-degree wind chills on a regular basis.”  It has to be really awesome to draw so

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When Your Partner Needs Attachment Reassurance

Today’s post is from the lovely Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen, a trainer in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy based in San Diego, CA.  She offers some great resources for improving your relationships including home study courses and weekend workshops.  Go here to learn more.     When Your Partner Needs Attachment Reassurance  Did you  know there are moments in

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